A Conservative’s Twist On Paul Simon’s Genius

October 11, 2009 by Bill.

John Andrews, Denver Sunday morning talk-show host (710-KNUS) and director of the Centennial Institute at Colorado Christian University (CCU) had a great column in the Sunday Denver Post today - 10-11-2009. His article, titled “50 Ways” Back At You,” steals a notion from Paul Simon’s famous “50 Ways To Leave Your Lover” and develops “50 Ways You Can Help Survive Obama.” I liked them so much I thought I’d list them here in numbered list format, rather than paragraphs so that they’re easier to read and appreciate. While almost all of the listed items are important, I don’t completely agree with 31 and 33 and don’t understand 46.

1. Cleave to the Constitution
2. Dust off the Declaration
3. Work harder
4. Save more
5. Borrow less
6. Repent, pray, get religion
7. Resist the divorce epidemic
8.  Tithe to church and charities
9. Read the classics
10. Doubt judges and lawyers
11. Distrust the dinosaur media
12. Assert our country’s goodness: America without apologies
13. Gird against radical Islam
14. Reject surrender in Afghanistan
15. Quarantine Iran
16. Defend Israel to the death
17. Revive NATO
18. Suspect Russia
19. Suspect China
20. Beware Chavez and Castro
21. See the United Nations for the dangerous fraud that it is
22. Secure the borders
23. Re-arm urgently
24. Work for a colorblind community
25. Reject the race card and white guilt
26. Support charter schools, tax credits, and vouchers
27. Demand intellectual diversity on the campuses (emphasis mine)
28. Resist the mediocrity drug called multiculturalism
29. Encourage a stay-at-home mom
30. Give to a crisis pregnancy center
31. Support the shaming of abortionists and pornographers
32. Boycott Hollywood
33. Get arrested dumping tea in the Tidal Basin
34. Dare Congress to put themselves on Social Security and Medicare
35. Demonstrate for a time line when GM gets privatized
36. Rally for right-to-work
37. Picket for paycheck protection
38. Organize for offshore drilling
39. Sit in for nuclear power
40. Coalesce for coal
41. Demand a tax-favored, direct-pay option for your medical costs
42. Ridicule the climate alarmists
43. Tell Biden jokes
44. Circulate ACORN soup recipes
45. Start a Palin club
46. Launch a Messiah milkcarton movement (”Savior of 2008, mysteriously missing in 2009″)
47. Retire Pelosi and Reid in 2010
48. Draft Petraeus in 2012
49. Get active as a Democrat and elect more blue dogs, or…
50. Get active as a Republican - not because they’re so much better, but because opposition is liberty’s life-blood

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